So, yet again Gina Ford hits the headlines, due to comments from yet another person who fails to understand the merits of her methods. Nick Clegg, the leader of the Liberal Democrats described her books as “absolute nonsense“. Human beings are, by default, unique. There is no absolute right and wrong when it comes to what is best for an offspring.
One of the problems which I think accentuates the whole Gina Ford thing is the fact that she is not a Mother. Parents are being terribly underestimated by Ms Ford. OK, being male, I’m not a mother either, but I can hand on heart say that I played a very big hands-on part in the bringing up of my children and can fully understand the difference between following a prescriptive parenting-by-numbers approach and an adaptive, evolving approach which focuses on the child, not the parent.Irrespective of demographic or intelligence, education or religion, there is one thing that every parent will empathise with and that is the loving bond that brings parent and child together and fuels a much deeper understanding than any author can do, let alone one who has no children of her own.
Of course many parents have a hard time with their children. Days on end of continuous crying and tantrums, loss of sleep and frayed patience is all part of bringing up a baby. I would be very surprised to find any parent who at some point did not get angry or frustrated by not being able to console their child. However, anyone who would think that by simply following a book on the subject everything would be magically better is surely mistaken. Parents learn from their children and likewise children learn from their parents’ actions. When looked at very simply, all that baby is trying to do is communicate with its parent in the only way it knows, by crying. As in any relationship, be it personal or business, communication – 2-way communication at that – is the key! If you do everything by the book, are you not taking away much of that ‘2-way’ part and making it unidirectional?
If every author were to fight so viciously every time a comment was aired, questioning or dismissing their views, the world would be a very bitter and nasty place to be. Another parenting website was famously challenged by Ms Ford back in 2006 when members of their forum made their own comments on her teachings. An out-of court settlement was made to quell her claims of defamation. She was equally vehement then that her views were the only valid way of bringing up a baby and she caused a great deal of anger and resentment. Does she subconsciously have the same approach to her innocent baby subjects we wonder? Shut up – or I’ll shut you up, like I do my critics!
N.
