Hello!
I’m Sel, a 28 year old Mum of a 2 year old Oscar and in a wonderfully perfect relationship with my partner (Oscar’s Dad), Geoff.
An old NCT friend of mine invited me to take our 2 year old boys to a local soft play centre. As I don’t drive, I find it difficult at times to do things with my Son, especially when it’s raining, so I jumped at the chance.
Whilst there, our two boys ran off in different directions, both completely in their element sporting very excited and happy faces. One jumping on a trampoline, the other running across a giant ‘catwalk’ ready to jump into a huge pit of soft sponges. It was just sheer delight to watch them both, as well as all the other kids there. So many happy and smiley faces, mums and kids alike!
The conversation developed into our attitudes to our kids’ independence and how much we both encourage our kids to explore the world on their own, whilst being there to support them in the background, as well as ‘holding their hands’, when it is needed. We both agreed that having time away from us is very important: especially, in terms of developing their own identity, confidence and socialbility. I take my son to several toddler groups and various other groups, whilst her own son attends nursery 2 mornings per week.
My friend, Kate, was surprised at how independent my Son is, considering he doesn’t really have much time away from me. Kate made a comment on how confident Oscar was in such a new environment which could be quite daunting for someone so small, yet, Oscar couldn’t have been happier there.
She told me that some mutual friends of ours frowned upon her making her child go to nursery, as she herself doesn’t work so they didn’t see the need. I find such a statement absoulutely rediculous! It is true that Kate is at home, therefore, she has the time to look after her Son on the mornings that he goes to nursery. However, what he is learning at nursery, she couldn’t teach him at home. Archie is learning how to interact with other children, a sense of independence, confidence as well as learning just by being in a different environment that could satisfy all his curiosities.
As hard as Kate may try, she couldn’t provide all that at home for Archie. It is healthy for mother and child to have time away from eachother, for so many reasons, on so many levels.
The aforementioned friends both have children of the same age as our own, yet, neither child has left their mothers at all in 2 years. They are rarely around other children either. I would hate to see the state of both mothers and children on their first day of school in a year’s time. People in glass houses, eh?
Sel
