How hard can it be, you think? Changing nappies is for babies … quite literally. Even the most uncoordinated amongst us can manage that, can’t we?
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Nappy changing is not always as easy as it looks, and once babies start to move, things get challenging and patience can be tested to the max.
Here’s what I mean.
1. The wrestling match scenario
The saying goes that “you can’t keep a good one down”, and never is this truer than when your toddler does NOT want to be changed.
This scenario sees you manipulating your body (and theirs) into multiple positions to try to change a nappy at lightning speed. The straddling position, the holding ankles together position and the strapping onto a change table position are all commonly adopted poses.
The reality is that you will finally win, but you’ll feel pretty exhausted by the end.This scenario is much akin to meeting your match in the wrestling ring.
2. The foot/hand in poo scenario
As parents it’s only a matter of time before we find ourselves in this scenario.
Changing a nappy while manhandling the equivalent of a hyperactive octopus is no mean feat. But add into this some little explorative hands and wiggling feet and you have more of a mess on your hands – quite literally – than you could ever imagine.
Trying to clean up hands or feet covered in poo, whilst also trying to change a nappy, is much like trying to tidy your house during a tornado. Just when you think you’re done, you spot that one bit you’ve missed on the wall, carpet or clothing.
3. The ‘you can’t catch me’ scenario
Learning to walk, then run, is one of the most exciting times for a toddler, and even more so when it means they can escape. Regular games of cat and mouse become the norm and, when it comes to changing nappies, this game takes on a whole new level.
In this scenario you’ll be trying to cleverly change their nappy while on the move. You’ve given up on trying to restrain them and figure this way may be easier.
Cue them getting out of your grasp and running off EVERY SINGLE time you think you’ve just got those sticky tapes done up. Chances are that when you do finally hit the jackpot, the nappy will be on wonky and will fall off within five minutes anyhow!
4. The ‘off it comes’ scenario
A fun and familiar game for most toddlers is ripping off their nappies. Like most newly learnt skills, once discovered, it’s one they like to practice a lot.
A naked baby streaking past you will usually alert you to this scenario. They may be clutching their prized nappy in hand or, alternatively, have abandoned it somewhere on their travels – because, you know, then you won’t notice.
This scenario quickly becomes wearing when you’re replacing nappies repeatedly throughout the day and your expenditure on them triples.
5. The gag-inducing scenario
As much as we love our cherubs, it’s still surprising what they sometimes produce from those perfect little bums. This can challenge even those with the strongest guts of steel.
In this scenario you’ll take on the pose of trying to change the nappy while alternating between breathing through your mouth, gagging and calling for serious backup.